Perfect Love
by Max Lucado
Isn’t it good to know that even when we don’t love with a perfect love, he does? God always nourishes what is right. He always applauds what is right. He has never done wrong, led one person to do wrong, or rejoiced when anyone did wrong. For he is love, and love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Cor. 13:6 NASB).
God passes the test of 1 Corinthians 13:6. Well, he should; he drafted it.
So where does this leave us? Perhaps with a trio of reminders. When it comes to love:
Be careful.
Until love is stirred, let God’s love be enough for you. There are seasons when God allows us to feel the frailty of human love so we’ll appreciate the strength of his love. Didn’t he do this with David? Saul turned on him. Michal, his wife, betrayed him. Jonathan and Samuel were David’s friends, but they couldn’t follow him into the wilderness. Betrayal and circumstances left David alone. Alone with God. And, as David discovered, God was enough. David wrote these words in a desert: “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.… My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods” (Ps. 63:3, 5 NIV).
Be prayerful.
What if it’s too late? Specifically, what if you’re married to someone you don’t love—or who doesn’t love you? Many choose to leave. That may be the step you take. But if it is, take at least a thousand others first. And bathe every one of those steps in prayer. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Ask God to help you love as he loves. “God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love” (Rom. 5:5 CEV). Ask everyone you know to pray for you. Your friends. Your family. Your church leaders. Get your name on every prayer list available. And, most of all, pray for and, if possible, with your spouse. Ask the same God who raised the dead to resurrect the embers of your love.
Be grateful.
Be grateful for those who love you. Be grateful for those who have encouraged you to do what is right and applauded when you did. Do you have people like that in your world? If so, you are doubly blessed. Be grateful for them. And be grateful for your Father in heaven.
This is a wonderful verse. It really hits the core of my soul! To know that our Heavenly Father loves us & that He wants us to relish in His love before making that big decision to love someone else. To know what real love is suppose to be like & how we are to love as He loves us! Sometimes life throws us into situations that does not have the God Love in it. Those times can be very hard on your spirit & draining on your emotions & Humanity & compassion as a human being. If you have done everything that the Father has requested of you & you have prayed over the situation countless times & have others praying for you as well, even to the point of putting extra care & concern into the situation & still there are no results from your spouse, then with prayerful watch & care, then you make the decision to do what is best for you & your spouse. It can only work if BOTH of you are willing to go the extra mile to have God’s Love in your life & to Love as God loves us. Then & only then will it be able to work. Prayer & sacrifice & God Love is what it takes.
If there was God’s perfect mate and one person was not following God’s will, then, for all of eternity, everyone would have married wrong!
Do not fall for – “It’s too late!” That’s society’s convenient answer. Just divorce and it will have never happened. Yet, only God can justify us. Not man’s law.
It is never too late! Ever! God hates divorce. And, unless there is unfidelity, abondonment, or threat of abuse (physical or emotional), Christians, are called to love their spouse. Christ is the example. He loved the church and gave his life for it. Even on the cross He forgave those who crucified him.
Are we not called to pray without ceasing? Is not Christ our model?
Max – You are right on, most of the time. But, for those who cling to your interpretation, make sure it is in line with God’s word, not your view.
There is even worse going on in this one. I have tried all options & have done what I should. I am emotionally & verbally abused on a daily basaes. My husband prays,but, so do I. I don’t like not knowing what I am going to walk into when I get home from work or When I wake up in the morning. I’ve had 8 years of this with prayer & others praying(not all the time) but, I have had continual prayer & I have reached my witts end. I don’t like being treated less than a human being. I don’t like being told how dumb I am or how fat I am or how I forget to finish up one thing before going on to something else. It’s no fun living like this!!!! I am so totally very unhappy!!! I cry more than I laugh!!! I have done my part & can not put forth the effort to continue on this way anymore!!!!!! I do understand that we are tobe in continuos Prayer & that Jesus Loved the Chruch/His Bride(us), but, I feel I can no longer stay in this one more day!!! So I am going to do what I have to-to protect myself esteem & my selfworth (because I am worhty of God’s love & worthy of being Loved as God loves us!!) & to protect my sanity!!!! There may not be anymore options for people in this kind of or simular relationships like this one. So we have to do what we have to do, because we have done everything else as we should!!!!
P.S. Oh,By the way, there was infidelity on his part durning the first 2 years of our 8 year marriage. I forgave him as Christ has done, but, it got me no where!! I am always being accussed of doing what he had done because of HIS GUILTY CONCIOUS!!! I am not perfect, I do make mistakes,but, I have not ever cheated on my spouse as he has done me nor have I ever thought about it!! I don’t belittle,degrade or humiliate my spouse in private or in the company of friends & family as he has done me!!! I have given my all, my very best & I am tired of hurtting!!! I am tired!!!! Divorce can also be a Blessing for the one who is being treated very badly!!!! It’s just taking that first step to get away & make life better for yourself!! I don’t think Jesus would want me to Continue on in this relationship as it is. HE KNOWS WHAT I HAVE BEEN GOING THRU!!!!AND JESUS LOVES ME & DIED FOR ME TOO!!!!
Dorothy, I empathize with you. Yes, I too did every possible thing I could to maintain that my first marriage. I was unequally yoked with someone for thirteen years. I prayed constantly. When the abuse began to turn from not only verbal, but also physical I made the decision to leave and eventually we divorced. I was a single parent for seven years and had gotten out of God’s will. I re-dedicated my life to the Lord four (4) years ago. The most marvelous thing happened when I put God first in my life. About four months after I had rededicated my life to the Lord, I met and married within three months the most wonderful Christian man. We have been married almost four years and I thank the good Lord for him everyday. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.
UNconditional love is something I learned to give at an early age. I believe we must be able to forgive others in order to keep our spirits open to receive God’s blessings. It is difficult – but not impossible to forgive others. I am growing in my faith every day through PRAYER for me and those I love. I believe God’s spirit can help us LOVE everybody at any time. THANK you for sharing this message – and yes I am GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL!!
Careful. Forgiveness with an expectation of something in return is not forgiveness. It’s a transaction. I believe God cares little about transactions. Christ forgave unconditionally. Do we? We have all been given the free will to do as we see fit. If one must leave a destructive relationship, then leave. The question that is rarely asked, and even more rarely answered is how did I get into it? What have I learned about myself, and more importantly forgiven in myself, unconditionally, AS Christ would that will allow me to find a relationship that lifts each of us up?
Forgiveness: Letting go all hope of a better past – Jerry Jampolsky
Peace.
Rick is right. Those questions are rarely asked or answered. I was not living as Christ created me to live. I was living in sin & that is how I met my husband-at a bar where I was a bar tender. I quit drinking 5 years ago. I don’t hang around with the people that I use to associate with. I have changed alot. I have given my heart to Jesus. I redeicated myself to Him. Now I want to move forward tobe come all that I can be for Him.
Thank-you Jenny!!!
Dear Max
Thank you for the encouragement and the confirmation of God’s will that I walk the 1000 steps of prayer to restore my failing marriage of 27 years. I know the pain that this means but I am trusting in the promise that God has made not only for the salvation of my marriage but of my husband too.
The scriptures say if you do depart from your husband for emotional/verbal abuse, then you are to remain unmarried until he dies.
If you need to seperate that is fine, but you are not permitted to divorce. But, if the seperation causes him (an unbeliever) to ask for a divorce and leave you, then you are permitted to divorce. To believers are not permitted to divorce under any circumstances except sexual immorality. There is nothing in scripture about divorce and remarriage being acceptable for verbal/emotional abuse.
If you leave him because of that, then be content with being single until the other spouse dies or remarries.